Dear Sir Dennis (Part 2)

Due to the overwhelming inundation of questions on my so far most read post, “Dear Sir Dennis” shall only be posting those that have caught his extremely evanescent attention span for at least five seconds.

Please do not get offended if your questions are not posted. If they don’t, it would be most likely due to the following reasons (or a combination of the following reasons, or because of ALL of the following reasons):

  1. Your question has been asked and answered for like a gajillion times already
  2. The answer to your question is so obvious it is even considered an insult to answer it (why ask something that even a euglena can answer?)
  3. Your question can potentially wreak havoc in the whole biosphere.
  4. I was so bored to death with your question that when I attempted to answer it, I slept upon typing the first letter, I woke up, read your question again, then got another attack of narcolepsy.
  5. I simply do not want to answer the question. Period.
Image

This is a euglena— please do not post questions that even this organism can answer.

Other than that, all questions are so welcome to be asked. Thanks so much!

From: yocrzyassstudentyolo

Dear Sir Dennis,

Would you ever generalize something positive about students of this society?… I really wanted to know if you have something good to say about them for once.

To: yocrzyassstudentyolo

Ah… yes. You are one of those afflicted with the “Sir Dennis-hates-this-new-generation-of-kids” Syndrome. Clearly this stems from my previous post “Baaad Teacher, Baaad Students” where my objective and scientific analyses were gravely misinterpreted as bitter rants. But as to accommodate your question (and put this into eternal rest once and for all), I shall be answering this with some lines taken from my past post.

“And amidst their ingenious and uncanny ways to get attention, recognition, and admiration (SHOCK has been their main arsenal to achieve the aforementioned), I GUESS GOOD THINGS STILL COME OUT FROM THEM. With the advent of globalization, post-modernism, and heightened narcissism… these young people had developed a mindset of shunning themselves from living in a world that is either black or white. My students constantly remind me not to put labels and limits; not lose track of my most basic self while incorporating as many things in my system; and appreciate every shred of my humanity… despite its numerous flaws.”

See?

Love,

Sir Dennis

From: yourdeareststudent

Dear Sir Dennis,

Just wondering, what brand of foundation do you use?=_____=BTW, you need to lessen the make up (powder or foundation or whatever)

To: yourdeareststudent

And what makes you think I wear make-up/foundation/whatever (whatever that “whatever” is)? Have you not watched the “Twilight” series where the vampires’ faces are soooo naturally (I repeat: soooo naturally) white and flawless one would think they are wearing a thick layer of make-up/foundation/whatever— even if they’re not? Surprise!!! You don’t only get to see it on TV. You see it every day too as I walk inside your class.

Love,

Sir Dennis

From: teampeenis

Dear Sir Dennis,

Who are your top three most favorite and most hated students and why? Oh, and don’t beat around the bush, I mean the ones you’re currently teaching. No holds barred. Much thanks.

To:  teampeenis

Alright. No holds barred, eh? Fine. I shall accept this so-called challenge. I will not be giving their names though since I am much concerned with damaging their psyche. Because if they’re named and they belong to the favorites, they might end up losing their sanity because their neural center cannot process the thought that such low-lives like them have been favored by me. Or if they are named most hated, they might just end up like the Colorado guy in the movie premiere of “The Dark Knight Rises”— and I must admit that would be horrible. I’ll just assign codes. Crack ‘em!

Well, here we go…

Most favored:

3. Student RX:

Why he/she made it:

RX does not have any intentions to please anybody (Not even me). RX just comes to school, does the stuff he/she’s supposed to do, and doesn’t do the stuff he/she isn’t supposed to. He/She’s normal in all sense, but I like it.

2. Student KL:

Why he/she made it:

KL is one of the more prominent students in school. KL has a bit of an attitude but he/she knows when to zip it. KL can accurately predict (an acquired talent) when I am about to unleash hell and he/she quickly averts it by coming up with some creative means (because KL knows that only a human sacrifice can pacify my wrath once it blows up)

1. Student TT

Why he/she made it:

I do not exactly go along so well with TT. He/she argues with me quite often, he/she throws tantrums every now and then, and he/she can be really nasty at times. TT nevertheless tops the list because he/she knows when to admit defeat, he/she knows when to apologize, he/she can profusely express genuine gratitude, and most importantly, he/she maximizes his/her brain functions (YES, that’s the reason why your parents kill themselves just to send you to school)

… as for my most hated… I think I would have to include them on the next issue…

Toodles!

Love,

Sir Dennis

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14 Comments

Filed under kids, school, teachers

14 responses to “Dear Sir Dennis (Part 2)

  1. Nice one sir! Keep it up! xD

  2. Sir. I AM DYING TO KNOW WHO THOSE FAVES ARE! :O Not that I think I’m one of them or anything because you know how you hate me so sir :] I want to ask a question too! But alas, I am out of things to ask… sighs dramatically*
    I laughed real hard btw:) b>,<d

  3. yourdeareststudent

    PFFFFFFFT. Naturally white skin? Ok sir……

  4. lovethisblogsrsly

    Dear sir,

    I noticed that the second part lost some of your signature steam. :(((

    PS: Your choice of clothes.I can totally liken it to, err, a ******’s wardrobe.Ya know,the ummmm, them. (sorry bout that)

    • Seriously. Where is this wardrobe critiquing coming from? and you even haven’t seen me wear Armani…

      You know part 2’s, they’re not supposed to be repetitions of the firsts…and yeah, they also get to be bashed, A LOT. Seewww… just savor it and wait for part three, yay!

  5. Oh, and by the way… there were pending questions raised in part I that I was meaning to answer but was not able to in this issue… there were just too damn many questions I spent most of my time weeding-out the incompetent/idiotic/otherworldly stupid ones. Will do my best to include them in the next! =)

  6. Marki

    malupet sir dennis! do sparkol in da sanlayt olso koya?? hahahaha..

  7. Sir, I, your loving student, have a question.
    How do you keep your skin to be so naturally white and blemish free?
    How do you make it, as you say, “twilight-like”?
    Just wondering sir… Some of us might use your tip!
    Lovingly yours,
    wherethehellisyourclass:)

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