On Friendship, Being Boss, and Changes

A common scenario in any  graduation ceremony after the looooong speech of the guest speaker and the traditional hat-throwing in the air would be the high school best friends hugging each other, telling to one another with teary-eyes that even if they part ways in college…

An unexpected thing occurs due to circumstances (fate?) and a friendship is forged between two, three, or more people who, still out of disbelief, promises to each other that no matter what happens…

A colleague who just got the promotion and suddenly becomes the supervisor assures his now subordinates that…

I, we, will not change.

And after four, five years of college life; after some years of being together; after several months of holding the managerial position… would it still be the case?

It is very comforting, truly:  the feeling of security, knowing and assuring/assured that change will not occur despite whatever circumstances. The emotion and the memory where you felt the zenith of joy freezes in time and swiftly, it becomes the locus of the relationship- the reference of everything you do, say, and think.  And the pressure suddenly kicks in.

“You were never assertive in high school.”

“You used to prioritize friendship over dates.”

“You were so humble back then.”

“What happened to you?”

It is as if a crime has been committed, a violation to the sacred unwritten accord that seemed to measure one’s character thus resulting to disappointment, detachment, and dissension.   “You said you will never change?!” You accuse with fingers pointing condescendingly. “You promised.”

And so to you, how noble you are for not changing a single bit. How loyal you must have been for being exactly the ‘you’ a couple of years ago till now. Praises for you who remained every inch like yourself because you are true to your word indeed.

Thing is, the moment you decided not to change, you decided to die.

For when change does not happen, life ceases to exist. Change is life itself.   And so why do you take it against them? The people who, either willingly or unwittingly, changed? Is change an enemy? Is changing tantamount to committing treachery to the very people who constitute your world- your friends, associates, lovers, family?  Is not changing even possible? Your beliefs? Choices? Decisions? Feelings?

Fact of life— change comes inevitably and f*cks things up. Even if you do not notice it, even if you do not want to, and yes, even if you believe you have always stayed the same. People change. For good or bad. Period.

But you want the friendship to remain? But you wish he/she will be just like the girl/boy you liked before? But you want him/her to be firmly grounded no matter what?

Change is vital, but is never the issue.  It’s not about change, really.

It’s what you do about it.

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Living with and Loving Crap

I have come to a point in my life where I am already perfectly convinced that even if something is so appealing to the mind and to the senses; even if it is from somebody whom you fear or consider dear; or even if the whole world says it so, it will not change a basic and undeniable fact–

If it is crap, it is crap.

It is a perfectly normal phenomenon in life, sh*tt*ng. Give some. Get some.  Be it unintentional (or not), serious, relentless, underserved, or laughable; the truth remains that crap happens. And it would have been a happy despite being a crappy world until the problem arises when many people, due to some filial (“But she’s my mom!”), friendly (“We’ve been BFF’s for like forever.”), corporate (“Promotion, baby!”), and of course, romantic (“I only did it because of luuurrrvvv”) relations begin to confuse what is supposed to be within the horizon of acceptability from a clear bull.

I too have had my shares of bu**sh*t in this world. Most from people I could care less, some from people I care, and a few from people I thought who actually cared. Of course I also gave my significant dosages of these too and I’m pretty much sure this will be the case until Armageddon.

I have eaten more sh*t than I should all these years… and I know many share the same plight with me. Not that I’m complaining, really. All the crap added up gave much more sense inside my skull on why the world exists as it is. On the contrary, it is surprisingly a good thing: not eating sh*t itself, but what it does to you. You suddenly have a wider perspective of things— Sh*t happens, period; Not all things are sh*t because some are not; and you can always get something good from sh*t, no matter what type it is.

Point is, it ain’t that bad.

And right now, I am in a middle of a predicament—a serious crap involving somebody whom I can almost consider as a best friend. Had conditions been different, I would have easily eaten another boatload of crap in the name of reconciliation but it just so happens that I am, at this juncture, is unable to take any sh*t anymore no matter how you shove it down my throat. For quite some time I was searching for the word that would embody how I feel about it as of the moment and how will I deal with it until it is over. Ah, yes. ENOUGH.

Krissy Returns!

The Professional Heckler

10:30 AM Friday
November 9, 2012
Somewhere in Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City


OH, HELLO THERE!You look at me when I say hello there! There! Na-miss n’yo ‘ko ‘no? Aminin! Well, I’m baaaack. I’m here for an interview. I don’t know nga kung bakit wala pa si Heckler. Grabe, siya na ang nakiusap, siya pa ang late. Kaloka! Anyway, while waiting for him, let’s chat muna. This December, my film fest entry will… oh, he’s here. Gosh, you’re sooo late!

Sorry po, traffic.

It’s Friday! What do you expect? Hay naku! Darla, retouch muna nga. Be thankful kay Darla at sa KrisTV staff, naghintay sila. As in, they’re here for like 35 minutes na, promise.

Guys, thank you. Again, sorry Ms Kris. Shall we start?

So minamadali mo naman ako? Iba ka!

Nooo! No… take your time. Sorry po. How’s Bimby?

Close tayo? Helloooo.

Ok.

Aha-ha-ha. Namumula ka!…

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On Earning my A+

 

There is a time in every school year where every faculty room is suddenly abuzz with discussions, assumptions, and predictions. Teachers just can’t stop chattering. Surely, something is bound to happen.

 

This is the time where there is a momentary shift in the balance of power between the lowly students and the god-like teachers. For a brief period, they are suddenly under the mercy of these kids; their numerical assessment on their performances decides their image, their worth, and probably their future.

 

Faculty evaluation in schools is very much like a political election- the students the electorates, the teachers the political candidates. Evaluations are announced a week or two before its administration and suddenly, there is vaudeville. Teachers become amped. Some suddenly become unrealistically (more like irritatingly) pleasant in the classroom. Some give heart-warming speeches in between (or sometimes the whole) lectures on hopes to win sympathy (votes?). And some would even resort to either direct bribing, pleading, or worse, threatening.

 

And of course just like the regular campaign period, some propagandas sell, and some do not.

 

I could just imagine the face of every student watching in amusement at their teachers as they perform their own antics. A few entertaining, others obviously trying hard, and the rest just plain pathetic.

 

Albeit, evaluations is not all that merry. Many students, would actually treat evaluations as payback time, judgment of the gods day, and the time of vengeance. They were silent as lambs when Teacher A threw a tantrum with no particular reason at all, or when Teacher B deliberately gave failing grades out of spite, or when Teacher C gave a grandiloquent  speech on how doleful their existence are. But the students remembered— and they cannot wait for a second longer.

 

I never expect anything every time “The Hour of Retribution Comes.”Nor do I plan for my own campaign strategy to rally my ratings up. Not that I am being a hypocrite but I, from the bottom of my heart abhor becoming Mary Poppins every evals week— my towering pride just cannot take it. You know, similar to the rate-me-for-who-I-fucking-really-am drama.

 

Everybody knows I love power-trippings, has struggles with issues on schadenfreude, and a true-blooded prick. Still I do my share of reminding students about objectivity, open-mindedness, and a sense of humanity. Hell, your beloved teachers, after all, aren’t perfect. We all have our shares of quirkiness. And admittedly, we can be real bitches and assholes at some points (I take the cake in this part).

 

Happy Rating!